


Always the Loyal Servant

by kannstdunicht



Series: Merlin Songfics [1]
Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Angst, Arthur and Gwen are happy, BUT THERE IS MAGIC, But again I suck at it, Canon Universe, F/M, I changed a few things to fit the song, I dunno I just liked the song and thought it could fit, I seem to like writing Merthur because this is the second of three ive written in the last week, I suck at angst btw, If You Squint - Freeform, It's bittersweet really, It's literally just the wedding, M/M, Maybe - Freeform, Merlin is in love with Arthur but he's marrying Gwen, Merlin is pining, Merthur - Freeform, Past Merlin/Arthur Pendragon - Freeform, Sad Ending, Sad Merlin, Songfic, Sort Of, Sort of canon universe, There's no timeline or anything, Thomas Rhett - Freeform, Wedding, based on a country song, but like sort of, so there's that, sue me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-02
Updated: 2018-09-02
Packaged: 2019-07-05 17:56:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,064
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15868779
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kannstdunicht/pseuds/kannstdunicht
Summary: Merlin has always been in love with Arthur. Of course, nothing could ever come of it. They're servant and king, after all. But especially because he's getting married to Merlin's best friend, Gwen. During the wedding, Merlin reflects and tries to let go.





	Always the Loyal Servant

**Author's Note:**

> This is a songfic based on Thomas Rhett's "Marry Me". I don't own the song or the universe, just my interpretation of both. This is my first fic on AO3 but I've written stuff before on other platforms. Hope you enjoy! :)

> _He wants to get married,_
> 
> _He wants it perfect_

Merlin smiled widely. He was clapping with the rest of the kingdom as they kissed, as Arthur gave himself fully to Gwen and as Gwen finally became the royalty that she deserved to be.

> _He got it all planned out_
> 
> _I can see it all right now_

They danced like no one was there when in reality everyone who was anyone was there- and they brought their whole family. He knew they had wanted a small wedding, not too many people, save the castle coffers some money. That would have never worked, though. Not with them being who they were. King and Queen of Camelot.

> _I’ll wear my black suit, black tie_
> 
> _Hide out in the back_

Merlin was happy for them. He was! Of course, it saddened him to be there, having once loved both of them. Still loving one. Shaking his head to dispel those types of thoughts, he wandered around the gardens some more. Trying to rid his head of the image of them kissing, blissful. Arthur had never looked at him like that, not while he was a servant, not as a friend, not even when they drunkenly fooled around, gods, ages ago.

> _I’ll do a strong shot of whiskey_
> 
> _Straight out the flask_

He sipped the wine consideringly, glancing around at the scattered guests who probably wouldn’t notice him if he dropped his trousers and ran around screaming about dragons. He didn’t belong here and remembered a time when Gwen didn’t either. When they could stand around and gaze longingly at Morgana and Arthur chatting at laughing and not knowing how beautiful they were, not really. Now she was on the other side of the invisible wall, socializing and giggling like a true born princess. Arthur looked on proudly.

> _I'll try to make it through without crying_
> 
> _So nobody knows_

The fond memories sent him spiraling. Drumming a fist against his thigh and taking another sip of wine, Merlin revisited every memory, every touch, every glimmer of hope dashed to pieces the moment the invitations were sent out and it was real, he never had a shot, a chance, but he was destined to be there through the end anyway, forced to watch as his best friends married each other and forgot about him as he stayed, always watching, always around, always always always, always- He stopped clenching his hand before the glass on the table feet away shattered. He hadn’t lost control of his emotions, his magic in a long time and he would be damned if a silly little heartbreak set his progress back that much.

> _I could try to find him_
> 
> _Get it off of my chest now_

Merlin’s face hardened as he realized he’d never get to express this anger, this hopelessness, to anyone but the trees of the forest and the glass vials in Gaius’ chambers. How he wished that he could go up to Arthur, kiss him angrily, and then curse him for doing this to Merlin’s heart. Merlin tried to breathe in enough to put the soft, vague, bumbling smile that had been there before. He couldn’t. Now, he knew he wasn’t the only one not having fun at the party, and he was absolutely certain that if Uther were here he’d have been dreading this day more than Merlin himself. But Uther was dead and so was Gwen’s dad and Merlin felt like the only one actually giving anyone away that night.

> _But I ain’t gonna mess it up_
> 
> _So I’ll wish them the best, now_

Another head shake to remind himself that he was being a tad selfish, he should be happy for his friends. For his best friend. They were having the best day of their lives. Merlin somehow found the courage to smile again. It was a momentous occasion for the joining of the classes, if nothing else. A servant girl married to the King of Camelot. Things were slowly progressing in the political climate of the kingdom. It was a good political move and it was made purely of love, which probably doubled the effect. No matter that Merlin could have also checked the “status” box that Gwen did, as well as the “gender” and “magic”, which were two slower paths of progress that Arthur had planned on implementing. It didn’t matter because Merlin wasn’t Gwen and Arthur didn’t love them in the same way, never had.

> _Yeah, he wants to get married_
> 
> _But he don’t want to marry me_

Merlin put on his happy face for the wedding. He put on his happy face as they kissed, as they danced, as they got into a carriage to go to gods-knew-where to do gods-knew-what, and as the manservant to the King, of course he knew what was going on but he preferred not to think about it. Merlin had his happy, excited, supportive best friend face on for so long he almost thought he would end up looking like that forever. To be fair, he was glad for Arthur and Gwen. Not all of it was faked. He did have some fun with a girl from the laundry before she rushed off to giggle with a groomsman. He and Gwaine did share a few too many drinks and end up bawling to each other about how good of friends they were to each other. In the end, though, he was glad that the night was over. He didn’t have to pretend he was fine anymore, he realized as he tumbled into bed, too exhausted to cry. Merlin just lay there, staring at his ceiling until he drifted off, the sun rising beyond his eyelids. The last thing he smelled were the magnolias from the gardens, the last thing he heard was the piano notes and soft chords of the wedding songs. The last thing he saw before he started this leg of his and Arthur’s journey was the King’s face as he finally gave his vows to the love of his life, best friend, and favorite person in the world. His wife. She wasn’t Merlin, and he still wasn’t okay with that. He knew he would have to be soon, though, because he had to wake the lovebirds in five hours. He always was the loyal servant.

> _Yeah, he’s gonna get married_
> 
> _But he ain’t gonna marry me._

**Author's Note:**

> Whoo, that was an experience... Sorry for any typos or formatting issues. Oof. Hope you liked. Please tell me what you thought!  
> I'm going to be posting another of these soon, in the next week or so. It's based on Florence+The Machine and I think it's slightly better than this one. Keep an eye out! ;)


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